I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
