Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
