I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
