Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
