imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
