Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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