I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
