I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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