That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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