i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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