Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
