I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
