It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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