My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
