the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize