New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
