2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
her vagine was all disorganized.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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