you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
