Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
