Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
