just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
