this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
