im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
