Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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