He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
