It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
