Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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