so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
