I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
