it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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