In the future we'll all be gay
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
