my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
