is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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