He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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