I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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