New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
