i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize