dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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