just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
