Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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