your parents love me but you hate me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
