You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
