I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
