Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
