trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
