Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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