Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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