Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize