the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
