He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
