Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
