Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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