we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
