Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
