Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
