Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
