I must be too annoying 4 u.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
