I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
