Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize