So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
