Are we in a gay sports bar?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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