You work out of a Hotel?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
