So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
its not stalking. its research.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
