Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
