shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
