when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
