Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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