I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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