Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
