I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize